Born ENOUGH: How to stop chasing after being enough

The other day my client (let’s call her Gina) started our conversation with some heat. 

Gina was super irritated because her sister-in-law, who has a “perfect body,” was still complaining about her appearance. Gina was freaking sick of the complaining.

"Why is this bothering you?" I asked.

She didn’t know.

After a few minutes of prodding, we hit on it.

“I just feel like…” Gina paused, “like it’s never enough. I’m never doing enough. I never feel like I’m good enough.”

Gina is like a lot of my clients.

She is a badass in her career, but she struggles with confidence.

She’s an amazing mom and wife, but is super hard on herself when she gets impatient and frustrated.

And she’s freaking gorgeous, but can’t even see it.

So, she feels empty, overwhelmed and exhausted.

Here’s the challenge:

Gina is putting her efforts and energy into ACTION because she has this underlying fear of not being ENOUGH.

A LOT of ridiculously amazing women are working their asses off to feel like they’re enough, but end up feeling empty.

Here’s why:

NO amount of action can help you escape the pain of not feeling enough.

It just creates overwhelm, exhaustion, and feeling like you’re stuck.

Here’s what I know for sure:

You are inherently enough right now.

You can do crappy work, a half-ass job mothering, lay on the couch all day long, and you are still enough.

How do I know that?

Because you were born enough and that enough-ness does not expire based on who you are, what you look like, or what you do.

Knowing that you are inherently enough right now can ease the feeling of overwhelm that is often tied to non-stop action because it’s no longer motivated by a fear of lack.

Wanna know what happened with Gina?

We prodded some more, questioned her beliefs about not being enough and then we hit on it:

“I’m enough just being ME,” she said. “Exactly the way I am. I am enough. There is no room for doubt.”

After saying this she described an overwhelming feeling of love within, like a reunion with a long-lost friend or family member.

That long-lost friend one was herself, always there, always waiting for her to recognize herself again. 

Here are a few practices I put together to help you remember your inherent enough-ness.

PRACTICE ONE: INVESTIGATE WITHIN. IS "NOT ENOUGH" ACTIVE WITHIN YOU? 

Feeling not enough can show up in funny places, like jealousy, being irritated at someone, or feeling defeated in your actions. If you notice any of these in your life, investigate within by asking yourself questions like . . .

“Why am I motivated to do more?”

"What am I afraid of happening?"

"Why does that bother me?"

PRACTICE TWO: SEE YOUR LIKENESS.

Imagine a new baby. They don't really do anything, so are they enough just because they exist? Just because they were born? Seems like a stupid question, huh?

Their enough-ness is unquestionable.  

Take a few minutes and visualize someone that you adore, like a child or an animal, and imagine them as a baby. 

Can you see Divineness within them?

Can you sense the infinite magic of their birth and existence? 

PRACTICE THREE: VISUALIZE AND REMIND YOURSELF. 

Holding that visualization and those answers in your mind, can you see your likeness in them? 

Can you sense your Divine Being? 

Can you sense the infinite magic of your birth and existence? 

Try saying to yourself, “I am that. I am equally as worthy as they. I am enough right now.”

You are no different from them.

You too were once a baby that was born enough. And that never expired. 

Sometimes, feeling enough doesn't magically happen right away from these exercises, and that's okay.

This might be like removing the first few bricks from a big wall. Just because the wall is still there doesn't mean it's not coming down.

If you want more help liberating yourself from "not enough," private coaching can help. Reach out to me here to schedule a time for us to chat about what private coaching can do for your life.

Here’s what one client had to say…

When I started working with Sarah, I was hyper-focused on outward success. I wanted to find a career that would help me fulfill my life’s purpose. I thought our sessions would focus on achieving that end goal. What I’ve learned in the process has been enlightening. Sure, we talk about external goals, but we also focus on the inner work needed to achieve those goals. I realized I’ve been repeating a similar pattern throughout my entire life. The mindset “I’ll be happy when I get the new job, move to ________, make X amount of money…” The list goes on and on. With Sarah’s help I’ve learned that happiness is less about what you do and more about how you feel in the present moment. I am so excited to continue working with Sarah on this personal journey!! 
— Caitlin S. | Portland, Oregon