ease

Confession time

Okay, confession time. 

A few days ago I sent out an email about my “someday, maybe” I’ll go back to New York and how it became my “someday soon, absolutely!” If you missed it, check it out right here

My “it’s gonna happen!” feeling is AH-MAZING. Don’t get me wrong. 

But, let’s be real. 

I’ve had mom-guilt about the trip. 

I’m leaving my babies and flying 3,000 miles away. 

My youngest cried the last time I left her at my parent’s house to go out to dinner! And then when I got home she told me how much she missed me. 

And I’m leaving for days

I’ve wondered how hard it might be for the girls and for my husband too. 

I’ve wondered how much I might miss them. 

I’ve thought about how my mom never took trips like this when I was little. It seems like I always had the comfort of knowing mom was home. 

Yup, mom-guilt. 

And, I’m going anyway. 

And, I’m crazy excited. 

And, I’ve worked through my mom-guilt to be leaving feeling guilt-free.

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I did it by asking myself two questions whenever I had the guilt-ridden thoughts: 

1: “Do I know that to be a fact?” 

2: “How might that be perfect?”

It went like this… I’d think, “I’m leaving my babies” and then ask, “How might that be perfect?” 

Then, I’d start to think about how my traveling allows them to see their mom following her dreams. 

It gives them extra time with dad. 

It allows them to see that I can leave and come back and all will be well. 

My guilt shifted to ease. 

Or, I’d think, “This is going to be hard on the girls” and then ask myself, “Do I know that to be a fact?” Nope. I don’t. It might be spectacular for everyone. That’s what I’m expecting. 

Here’s the bottom line:

Mom-guilt is a form of beating yourself up. 

And it doesn’t help anyone

For me, this mom-guilt was sneaky. I didn’t immediately realize I was beating myself up because I was THINKING about how much I love my kids. 

The FEELING, however, was beat-up and what I really needed was self-kindness, self-permission, and self-compassion. 

If you’re feeling mom-guilt, be kind to yourself. Ask yourself the questions above, or consider the kindest thing you can say to yourself right now. 

We don’t need to beat ourselves up for being human, making mistakes, taking trips, being away, or having a damn good time without our kids. 

The beat-up helps no one. 

It doesn’t say, “I love you.” It says, “I punish me.” 

Whereas self-compassion is centered around love. It says, “I love me.” 

Is that the message we want to tell? 

Regardless of whether or not you’re a mom, if you feel any guilt reach for self-compassion. A dose of kindness toward yourself goes a long way.

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PS: Self-compassion is part of my formula for CONFIDENCE and it’s one of our classes in UNSTOPPABLE EASE. You’ll learn more formula for confidence and several life-changing self-compassion practices. Join the live class or the recordings-only option right here.

When it feels like all hustle and no play

Shonda Rhimes is a titan. 

As a writer and executive producer, she's been responsible for creating 70 hours of television programing per season, creating hundreds of jobs, and generating $350 million dollars per season.

How does she do it? 

The hum. 

The hum, as she says, is hitting the high note, finishing the marathon and being Beyoncé all in one. The hum is God's whisper in her ear. 

And then, the hum stopped. 

She was burned out. Overworked. Run dry. 

The hum seemed broken. 

Inside, it was silent. 

Hundreds of jobs, 70 hours of programing, $350 million on the line and. . . silence

And then her toddler asked her a question, "Mama, will you play with me?"  She was already late to an event and about to say no, but then... this time... she said yes. 

She stopped and played. Between reading books, being silly, and making her daughters laugh she started to hear a faint hum. Not the hum, but a hum. 

What is the hum? 

It's love. 

It's joy. 

It's peace and confidence and the feeling of being fully alive. 

That's what Shonda Rhimes calls the hum. 

That's what I call EASE. 

But, you don't have to be a titan to experience the hum. 

We all have access to this space where things come together and world feels like magic. 

It starts by finding your way to what you love. 

Your way to joy. 

Your way to hearing God's whisper in your ear. 

Your life's hum. 

That's when life begins to feel like magic and ease and excitement. 

That's when you feel unstoppable and alive. 

Wanna find your hum? 

You can, and I'll show you how in my upcoming masterclass, Unstoppable Ease

In this 10-week masterclass you'll learn The Nine Elements to Unstoppable Ease and discover your way to ease, confidence and joy. 

It's a whole new way of living and it all starts January, 2019.

You can register right here to get your seat, and find your way to joy, your way to what you love, and your way to hearing God's whisper in your ear. 

Let's find your hum.