Are you being harsh?

I can't help but cringe when I hear someone call themselves something hurtful. You know – the "I'm so stupid" or the "What the F is my problem?" moments. I literally feel it in my body.

 

Often, my clients don’t even realize their harsh self-criticism because over the years they developed a STORY, DIALOGUE and BELIEF about themselves. We wouldn’t dream of uttering such harshness to someone else, so why, oh WHY, do we say these things to ourselves? 

 

Allow me to break it down: somewhere in the maze of our early years, blaming ourselves and feeling shame became the easier option than facing the feeling of being alone, unloved or abandoned. 

 

And because we didn’t get the care and attention we needed at the time, we crafted a negative narrative about ourselves as protection and *bam* we've got a belief about ourselves. 

 

So… now what? I come with a few teeny tiny tips. 

 

 I mentioned that you wouldn’t dream of uttering such harsh words to someone else, so I invite you to begin thinking about the relationship you have with your incredible self. 

 

Just like any relationship, our relationship with ourselves demands care, and with care comes repair. Picture it as tending to a cherished friendship.

 

In the repair process, try this: 

 

1)  You notice you said or thought something really harsh about yourself. 

2) Ask yourself, “What am I feeling?” 

3) Whatever the answer, VALIDATE that experience. Say something to yourself like, “Of course you’re feeling that way.” 

4) Then engage in self-talk as if comforting as you would give to a struggling, dear friend. Say something like, “Of course you feel that way. This is a lot, but I know you’re amazing. This is gonna be okay.” 

 

You, like everyone else, deserve to be heard, seen, validated, and addressed with warmth and kindness. Your own heart and words can be your own powerful ally. 🌟

 

XO,

Sarah

 

PS: Want some help with your STORY, DIALOGUE, AND BELIEF for more confidence, self-kindness, and ease? Enter Empowered Ease, a 6-month program that will shift the way you think and talk about yourself. Click here to be the first to be notified when the registration doors open!