When Progress Doesn’t Look Like Progress

Halfway through my sluggish jog-walk, I checked my watch. 12 minutes slower than I used to be. I could vividly recall the feeling of ease and strength I used to have. Today, everything felt heavier. My legs dragged. “Damn,” I whispered, shaking my head.

It felt like it was about the number, but it wasn’t really.

It was the story I was telling. About the number, and about me, and who I am, who I used to be, what I could do, and what I couldn’t do. The feeling that I had lost something I used to have, or even worse, was who I used to be.

You see, as humans, we’re brilliant storytellers. The best on the planet, but we tell stories about things like numbers on a watch.

And in that moment, the story I told completely edited out the strength, wisdom, and resilience of my body. The fact that I could still move, jog, and run. I forgot the chapters these legs, lungs, and heart now carry, with even more life that includes confusion, loss, and grief.

I catch myself doing this in my business, too. I look around and measure. Where was I before? Where am I now compared to where I want to be? And I create a story, often one that doesn’t feel good. Once again, it feels like it’s about the numbers, but it isn’t really.

It’s about the story I’m telling about who I am in this moment.

15 years ago, I sat miserably in a cubicle, feeling like a failure for wanting to quit my job, aching to pursue coaching, and certain that I was too young to succeed. That was a story I told about myself. And I have no doubt you’ve carried stories just like it.

So many of us do this. We measure ourselves against an ideal, then tell a story about who we are, feel perpetually inadequate, and try to attack the perceived problem through action, rather than retelling the story.

Comparing is storytelling. And even if you’re comparing yourself against someone else, it’s actually you telling a story about you.

Let’s stop comparing. And retell the story.

If you feel like you’ve lost ground, you haven’t. You’ve grown, and you’re not seeing it. You’re seeing the story of losing ground.

This is who you’re believing yourself to be.

What is the story of growth?

Who are you in that story?

Where have you felt pain and learned from it?

Who is that version of you?

Tell that story.

If you feel like you’re not where you should be, stop. If you keep looking at the horizon without seeing where you are right now, you could accidentally run off a cliff. Give yourself credit for where you are right now.

What’s great right here, right now?

What can you enjoy now that may not exist in the future?

Who are you in that story?

Who is the version of you that’s enjoying this moment?

Tell that story.

When you measure growth and depth instead of distance, you tell a different story about your life, your career, and yourself. This story will change how you view the past, how you look at the horizon, and even how you feel when you look at your watch right now.

With love,

Sarah

P.S. Let me show you how to stop comparing and start trusting yourself. A Return to Self is where we do this work together. It’s a seven-module program that will take you from fear and juggling everything, to knowing exactly who you want to be and how you want to live.

I write regularly about aliveness, fear, and the inner choices that shape our lives. Get the next one in your inbox.