The 90s Comeback Your Life and Work Has Been Waiting For

Let’s take ourselves back to 1994 and learn from one of the least predictable teachers: George Costanza.

Jerry and George were sitting in the diner, and George was ranting to Jerry about how every decision he’d ever made was wrong. He was unemployed and living with his parents. His life, as he put it, was the exact opposite of what it should be.

And then Jerry says it, in that casual Jerry way:

“If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.”

So George decides that rather than his usual tuna sandwich, he’ll have the chicken salad.

A woman across the diner notices. Instead of looking away, George stands up, walks over to her, and says, “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice that you were looking in my direction.”

“Oh yes, I was. You just ordered the same exact lunch as me,” she says.

George takes a deep breath. “My name is George. I’m unemployed, and I live with my parents.”

“I’m Victoria. Hi!” she says, smiling.

Fast forward, and it turns out her uncle is an executive with the New York Yankees, where George ends up landing a job.

George decided, for one afternoon, to be a different version of himself. To act from a different identity. To do the opposite of every story he had ever told about who he was and what was possible for him.

And everything changed.

Many of us continue to order the tuna salad rather than trying the chicken in our lives and careers because it’s what we’ve always done. Fear leads us here and keeps us here because doing something different is scary. And then it becomes who we believe ourselves to be.

What might happen if you tried the opposite?

Let me walk you through it.

First: Think about a situation in your life right now that you’d like to change. Could be a relationship, a business decision, a conversation you keep avoiding, a version of yourself you keep shrinking back into.

Next: Now ask yourself these four questions:

Next: Now ask yourself these four questions:

Embody it. Practice the thought. Notice the feeling. Choose that behavior. And make it fun. How does this version of you dress? Enter a room? Speak in a meeting?

What you just wrote is an identity shift. It’s the same situation, but you’re now approaching it with a different mindset, feeling, and behavior.

And here’s what I really want you to consider: the opposite version you just tried on isn’t a random experiment. It’s often a higher version of you. The one who was always there, underneath the fear and the old stories. The one who knows more than the voice that’s been running the show.

It may seem ridiculously simple, like ordering a chicken salad sandwich, but don’t overlook the power of simple.

A client of mine was hiding at work and tried this.

Instead of thinking “I’m not successful enough to put myself out there,” she tried on “Putting myself out there is just what I do.”

She started meeting with more people and sent out pitches she’d been sitting on for months. Within a month, her business had more momentum than it had seen in a year.

One identity shift. One opposite thought. One chicken salad.

George thought he was just ordering a different sandwich. He was actually choosing a different self.

Xo,

Sarah

I write regularly about aliveness, fear, and the inner choices that shape our lives. Get the next one in your inbox.