When it hurts

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Back in the day… I was often one of the last kids to get booted out of a dodgeball game. 

Was I good at dodgeball? 

Hell no.

I don’t know if I ever threw a ball at someone. 

My skill was hiding. 

I was good at being invisible, even in plain sight. 

Because on a day-to-day basis not being seen meant that I might dodge being the brunt of a joke. 

When I think about my little girl self, I remember being a bright, funny, and caring girl who was so loyal to her friends. 

I was also overweight and totally ashamed of my body. I had a form of dyslexia (well, still have) that placed me in special ed classes to help me learn to read. I was so afraid that everyone thought I was fat and stupid. 

All I wanted was to be like everyone else. And I didn’t have a fucking CLUE as to how to do it. 

I didn’t know HOW to become skinny. 

I didn’t know HOW to learn to read better. 

I didn’t know HOW to defend myself or care less about what other people thought or said. 

Of course, I didn’t… I was a little kid.

If I could go back in time I know that I’d try to protect that little girl like a fierce mama bear. I’d also look my little girl self in the eyes and tell her that she is WORTHY and BRAVE. 

I’d tell her that she is SMART and BEAUTIFUL exactly as she is. I’d tell her to be as LOYAL to herself as she is to her best friend. 

Turns out, it’s the same advice that I often need to hear today. 

A lot of us had some shit happen when we were growing up that still influences what freaks us out today, the way we think others might be seeing us, and the way we talk to ourselves too. 

And it can show up in funny places, like avoiding asking for help at work. 

Or, wanting to grow a business but being afraid to get hired. 

Or, feeling extremely self-conscious about presenting to a group of VPs. 

A lot of us also have a “mama bear” side too. A side that wouldn’t DARE let anyone be mean to our kids or friends. 

A side that, if time travel were possible, would go back in time to fiercely love and protect her little kid self. 

And, whatever you might say to your little kid self might just be the very thing you need to hear TODAY. 

Try it. Think of your little kid self. If you could go back in time and be eye to eye with your little kid self, what would you say?

Say it to yourself today. 

Because my guess is that you might be facing some challenges. You might be choosing to do some tough stuff. 

And, this fiercely loving and protective side of you is available to you NOW, in the tough stuff, so ask for guidance. Ask for protection and wisdom too. If you feel down on yourself, call your “mama bear” into the room and ask for her opinion. 

Use all of the love, fierceness, loyalty, kindness, and compassion that you would have for your kids or friends and give it to yourself.

This is how we do tough stuff — like, asking for help, growing our business, and presenting to those VPs— with more Ease


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