Allowing the magic of YES

Feel like starting your week with a little magic? You in? Cool, let's play. 

Let me start by telling you a story about something magical that happened recently.

It was the beginning of a packed work week, my childcare was super sick, and all backups were out of town.

I started to go into “fix it” mode, which felt like “oh no!” and stress and nothing good.

Then, I stopped (this is when it gets good) and decided to say YES to it.

I wrote down every task and scheduling challenge that I didn’t know how to solve and I visualized handing it over to the Universe.

I had a sort of “okay… here we go” feeling like I would at the top of a water slide.

Then, I relaxed. I cuddled my little girl, read books to her, and felt my heart explode at each giggle and silly face.

Then, magic started to happen.

Okay, not that red-hot second, but as each day ticked by things started shifting.

Clients who I needed to reschedule ended up RESCHEDULING ME.

The project I’d been working on suddenly shifted and felt like a riddle I just cracked.

Creativity exploded.

Tasks were completed faster.

It felt like ease and joy and magic.

Because I said yes.

But, I’m no different from you.

This type of magic is available for all of us.

And assistance from the Universe is available for YOU right now.

When you say YES to a situation you’re giving room for the Universe to help you and what follows looks like magic.

In fact, the thing you might be saying, “Oh hell no!” to could be the Universe rearranging things FOR YOU.

Even big things, like losing a job or having your spouse ask for a separation. These things could be divinely rearranging in your favor.

But you gotta say yes to it.

I’d been asking for more creative time and, clearly, the Universe delivered.

I would have missed the magic if I went scrambling to “fix the problem.”

So, do you have something you want to say yes to?

Here are three questions to ask yourself to help:

1) What would it look like if I said yes to this situation?

2) What could I hand over to the Universe to take care of for me?

3) How would it feel if I trusted that somehow this situation is happening for me, not to me.

Practicing saying yes is like having little trust falls with the Universe over and over again, but when you let yourself fall with trust, you’ll find that the Universe will catch you.

Then, what felt like falling on blind trust begins to feel like magic over and over again.

How to deal when people are irritating

Picture this…

It’s a cool autumn morning in the Oregon forestlands. The wandering dirt trail, towering evergreens, and lush ferns create a Pintrest-ready image of serenity.

Now insert the addition of a five-year-old whining, “I hate this!”

She’s so irritated and unhappy to be hiking and carrying her backpack that she slumps over, ready to collapse into the dirt with disgust. “Why do we have to be here? This is so boring!”

This was our family hike.

Much like a movie, there’s a scene, a plot, and characters.

On this day, my five-year-old, Olivia, was playing the role of COMPLAINER (at least in my head she was).

I was not digging the role she was playing.

It was irritating and, at times, I felt like I couldn’t deal with it!

ALL I wanted was for her to STOP playing that role. Stop complaining! Stop whining! Enjoy the beauty, dammit!

Simply put, I thought, “If you’d just change, I could be happy.”

Do you ever think that about someone in your life?

If you’d just BE HAPPY, then I could be happy.

If you’d STOP being an asshole, then I wouldn’t get so defensive.

If you’d STOP saying these things, I wouldn’t worry so much.

Demanding that someone else change for you to feel better is a battle you will lose every time.

IT’S NOT THEIR JOB TO CHANGE — IT’S YOURS.

You create your own reality and YOU are the DIRECTOR of your life.

Rather than trying to force your characters to change, try to appreciate the role they’re playing in your life right now like it’s rigged in your favor.

In my case, I appreciated Olivia’s UNWILLINGNESS to just do what others wanted her to do! I’m coaching my clients to re-learn this nowadays, so I thought, “own that, girl!”

I also appreciated how, as the “complainer,” Olivia was helping me practice finding peace regardless of circumstances.

Then, I appreciated her helping me change up my workout because I ended up carrying the 45-lb girl on my back for a mile and half.

Seeing her differently didn’t necessarily change HER or her behavior, but it changed ME.

And when I changed, my whole experience changed.

No matter who it is in your life, or what role they’re playing, don’t demand that they change so that you can deal.

See what happens if you even appreciate the role they’re playing right now.

When you do that, what happens for you?

Are you being honest with yourself?

I wasn't completely honest with myself. 

On vacation, I said a whole lotta YES and a whole lotta NO.

But, much of the time I didn't pay close attention to whether my YES or NO was TRUTHFUL.

Was it what I really WANTED?!

I said NO to more alone time. 
I said YES to supporting others. 
I said NO to quietly reading at the pool. 
I said YES to playing at the pool. 
I said NO to asking for help. 

Guess what happened?

Instead of feeling fulfilled, relaxed and energized, I came home so exhausted that I didn't move from the couch for almost two days. 

Every time I said YES to something I really didn't want to do, there was a little energy drain. And I ignored it.

Then, I'd say NO to something that I really did want. A little more energy drained and I ignored some more! I'd think, "We're on vacation, it's all good!" 

But, my true desires didn't care that we were on vacation! They still wanted me to take care of ME rather than putting everyone else first and thinking that "it's all good" because we're on vacation.  

No wonder I was dead to the world when I came home. 

We say YES and NO all day long. 

If you go to work, you're saying YES to work. 

If you stay up later than you want, you're saying NO to bed.

The question is... Are you saying YES to what you truly want? Or, are you saying NO honestly? 

Telling a LIE in your YES or NO is EXHAUSTING. It's an energy drain that can only be ignored for so long before you're laid up on the couch waving a white flag.

Your NO might feel shocking at first. (Saying 'no' to pool fun didn't make a whole lotta sense to me.) 

Your YES may be contrary to your culture or popular belief. 

But if you're HONEST, really HONEST with your YES and NO then you'll begin to feel a resurgence of energy and aliveness. 

Your true desires will cheer YES!!! THIS WAY!! And it feels AMAZING. 

Because your true desires have a VOICE and want to be HEARD, and they want you to be honest with yourself. 

Listen in. 

Listen to your YES. Are you being honest? 

Listen to your NO. Does it feel like the truth? 

Listen. 

Your honest YES and NO will serve you in ways that you cannot imagine, and they will never steer you away from what you really want. 

I create what I want - signed, YOU

Sam cringed every time she looked at her credit card statement. 

The girl was hustling and working hard, but the outflow of cash kept climbing and the inflow was level. 

She just wanted to stop worrying about all of the bills.

And she really wanted to feel like her work was paying off.  

But, here's the deal: Sam was driving toward what she thought she wanted, but was actually driving the wrong way. 

A lot of people make the same mistake.

But, we can change that. 

Let’s start with this…

1)    YOU CREATE YOUR REALITY.

Yes, YOU do.

Back in the day, my driving instructor would say, “Never look at the ditch because that’s where you’ll end up.”

Your life is the same way, and you get to point in the direction that you want to go.

In Sam’s case, her focus was pointed toward lack, waiting for the payoff, and believing the route was hustling, so that’s what she was experiencing.

2)    CLARITY POINTS YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

If you don’t know what you ultimately want, you’ll most likely keep creating what you know.

It's like unconsciously driving the same route.

What you ultimately want is not that thing (like money)... it's the feeling you think you will have when you get that thing.

With Sam, she thought money was the target. After asking her some questions, she discovered that her deep desire was to feel PROUD of herself and her business.

3)    FOCUS GETS YOU THERE.

Once you know what you really want, then you can create that in your life through your focus.

So, focusing on thoughts that create the feeling you really want will attract more thoughts like them. 

It’s the Law of Attraction.

You will also attract people and circumstances that create that feeling too. 

For Sam, she locked her focus on what she’s already proud of in her life and started making a list. She felt proud of the business she'd built thus far, her relationships, and her personal growth. 

Her list went on and continued to grow.

HERE'S WHERE IT GETS EXTRA FUN! 

ONE MONTH(!) after Sam started regularly practicing feeling proud, she landed her highest paying client to date, received a new corporate contract, and three unexpected referrals.

Her pride is blowing up (her bank account is too).

You can create whatever you want in your life.

Clarity and focus are your buds. They're a tool to help you and make creating what you want feel like ease, not work. 

Buddy up with these three coaching tools and, through practice, you'll start creating what you want in your life too. 

#1 - Get in the habit of telling yourself that you are limitless and can create anything you want in life.

#2 - Identify something that you want and ask yourself how you’d feel if it magically appeared tomorrow.

#3 - Make a list of at least 30 (or more) things in your current life that bring you that feeling.  

Have fun with it!

How Janice created a turning point

Janice was feeling under the gun.

The VP of her company wanted to meet with her next week to discuss numbers, but her numbers weren't where she wanted them to be.

Her stomach was in knots.

The numbers needed to be explained, but she feared that he'd still be disappointed and she'd take the blame.

She wanted to throw something or cry or both. 

She also wanted to cancel her coaching session to bury herself in work, but something in her said to show up for the session anyway. 

“I'm so stressed and overwhelmed," she started, "I have to figure this out! And I don't even know if there's time.”

We started to explore her motivations to "do a good job" and her fears of disappointing the VP.

Then, Janice discovered something: She'd been defining herself by the numbers.

"OMG," she said, "When the numbers didn't seem to 'be enough' it felt like I wasn't 'enough' either." 

Janice realized that there is a difference between WHO SHE IS and the work she does. 

"I'm not the numbers," she explained. "I can discuss the numbers, but not make it ABOUT ME."

Janice's energy lightened.  

The fear and doubt faded from her and she went from wanting to hide to feeling confident and peaceful. 

"I feel like I found a power within me that I didn't really know that I had," she said.

A few days later she carried that energy into her meeting with the VP. She explained the numbers but didn't feel defined by them. 

Then, she did something she's never done before: She asked for support.  

Guess what the VP said?

He said he was so impressed by her confidence, vision, and leadership that he might have to take notes from her. And he would support her however he could.

"I'm gobsmacked!" Janice emailed to me. "This happened because I found a place of wholeness and aligned with myself before the meeting. This was a turning point." 

Feeling successful does not mean sacrificing feeling peaceful.

You can live a conscious life that is rooted in ease, and feel like a boss at work too. 

Want to create a turning point in your life? 

Reach out right here if you'd like to schedule a free discovery coaching session to learn more.