DO THIS if you fear disappointment

“Be kind to one another.” -- Ellen Degeneres


It has always seemed obvious to me what Ellen was saying with these words: Be kind to your fellow man.

Until, one afternoon when I heard it differently.

It had been a day where self-doubt and pressure crept in and my mind spun with thoughts like . . .   

“Ugh. This didn’t get this done!"

And, “What if this doesn’t happen?”


I flipped on Ellen in hopes of laughing and tuning out the mind spin.

And, then, something weird happened.

It was as if Ellen reached through the TV, grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me dead in the eye and said, “Be kind to one another."

Wait.

Am I being KIND to ME?

Self-kindness can feel easy for any of us to forget sometimes.

Especially if there’s something you really want and you’re afraid of it not happening.

Even some of the world’s most successful people have moments of doubt and fearing disappointment.

Ellen is about to release her first stand-up special in 15 years. Do you think she hasn’t had a single moment of fear or doubt?

She has.

So, what does she do?

What do WE do when doubt or fear creeps in?

BE KIND.

Gather up all of the love and kindness that you can find in yourself and in the Universe and turn it to YOU.

Imagine HAVING YOUR OWN BACK.

Tell yourself everything is gonna be alright.

Notice fear and meet it with LOVE.

Feel disappointment and write yourself notes of kindness.

Speak words of ENCOURAGEMENT over criticism.

Tell yourself that you’re doing your best, and that’s AMAZING.

Practice KINDNESS.

And as you’re reading this, imagine me reaching through your screen, grabbing you by your shoulders, looking you dead in the eye and reminding you, Be kind to one another.

Big hugs to you,
XO

PS: Self-Compassion is one of The Nine Elements of Unstoppable Ease that I’m teaching in my January masterclass, Unstoppable Ease.

It’s gonna be a small group with lots of hands-on coaching, connection and support with practices like self-kindness. I’d love for you to join us, which you can do right here

Becoming YOU

“You should never view your challenges as a disadvantage. Instead, it’s important for you to understand that your experience facing and overcoming adversity is actually one of your biggest advantages.” -- Michelle Obama

Growing up, people didn’t expect much from Michelle Robinson.

As a black girl from a working-class family living in the South Side of Chicago, people were ready to put her in a box of underachievement.

People in her neighborhood didn’t expect that she would graduate from Princeton and Harvard.

Or become a lawyer.

Or the 44th First Lady.

But she did.

How'd she do it?

She didn't believe that she was defined by her circumstances.

Or, by how other people saw her.

She didn’t believe in the box.

This is a mindset.

And Michelle Obama as a powerful one.

She has a mindset driven by hope.

That sees challenges as opportunities.

That says, “When they go low, we go high!”

MINDSET.

Your mindset is equally as powerful.

You can turn every challenge into opportunity.

You can do what, right now, seems like only a dream.

You can find your way.

Because you are still becoming.

You are becoming EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

And the possibilities for you are limitless.

Focus your mindset on believing that anything is possible for you.

When you do, you BECOME limitless.

XO,

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PS: Want some help creating a limitless mindset? Grab your seat to my upcoming masterclass, Unstoppable EaseLimitless Mindset is one of The Nine Elements of Unstoppable Ease that I’ll be teaching in the 10-week course.

PPS: Oh! One last thing... this is going to be a small masterclass with only 15 seats (several are already sold!), so grab your seat right here. Registration will close when they're gone.

When it feels like all hustle and no play

Shonda Rhimes is a titan. 

As a writer and executive producer, she's been responsible for creating 70 hours of television programing per season, creating hundreds of jobs, and generating $350 million dollars per season.

How does she do it? 

The hum. 

The hum, as she says, is hitting the high note, finishing the marathon and being Beyoncé all in one. The hum is God's whisper in her ear. 

And then, the hum stopped. 

She was burned out. Overworked. Run dry. 

The hum seemed broken. 

Inside, it was silent. 

Hundreds of jobs, 70 hours of programing, $350 million on the line and. . . silence

And then her toddler asked her a question, "Mama, will you play with me?"  She was already late to an event and about to say no, but then... this time... she said yes. 

She stopped and played. Between reading books, being silly, and making her daughters laugh she started to hear a faint hum. Not the hum, but a hum. 

What is the hum? 

It's love. 

It's joy. 

It's peace and confidence and the feeling of being fully alive. 

That's what Shonda Rhimes calls the hum. 

That's what I call EASE. 

But, you don't have to be a titan to experience the hum. 

We all have access to this space where things come together and world feels like magic. 

It starts by finding your way to what you love. 

Your way to joy. 

Your way to hearing God's whisper in your ear. 

Your life's hum. 

That's when life begins to feel like magic and ease and excitement. 

That's when you feel unstoppable and alive. 

Wanna find your hum? 

You can, and I'll show you how in my upcoming masterclass, Unstoppable Ease

In this 10-week masterclass you'll learn The Nine Elements to Unstoppable Ease and discover your way to ease, confidence and joy. 

It's a whole new way of living and it all starts January, 2019.

You can register right here to get your seat, and find your way to joy, your way to what you love, and your way to hearing God's whisper in your ear. 

Let's find your hum. 

Allowing the magic of YES

Feel like starting your week with a little magic? You in? Cool, let's play. 

Let me start by telling you a story about something magical that happened recently.

It was the beginning of a packed work week, my childcare was super sick, and all backups were out of town.

I started to go into “fix it” mode, which felt like “oh no!” and stress and nothing good.

Then, I stopped (this is when it gets good) and decided to say YES to it.

I wrote down every task and scheduling challenge that I didn’t know how to solve and I visualized handing it over to the Universe.

I had a sort of “okay… here we go” feeling like I would at the top of a water slide.

Then, I relaxed. I cuddled my little girl, read books to her, and felt my heart explode at each giggle and silly face.

Then, magic started to happen.

Okay, not that red-hot second, but as each day ticked by things started shifting.

Clients who I needed to reschedule ended up RESCHEDULING ME.

The project I’d been working on suddenly shifted and felt like a riddle I just cracked.

Creativity exploded.

Tasks were completed faster.

It felt like ease and joy and magic.

Because I said yes.

But, I’m no different from you.

This type of magic is available for all of us.

And assistance from the Universe is available for YOU right now.

When you say YES to a situation you’re giving room for the Universe to help you and what follows looks like magic.

In fact, the thing you might be saying, “Oh hell no!” to could be the Universe rearranging things FOR YOU.

Even big things, like losing a job or having your spouse ask for a separation. These things could be divinely rearranging in your favor.

But you gotta say yes to it.

I’d been asking for more creative time and, clearly, the Universe delivered.

I would have missed the magic if I went scrambling to “fix the problem.”

So, do you have something you want to say yes to?

Here are three questions to ask yourself to help:

1) What would it look like if I said yes to this situation?

2) What could I hand over to the Universe to take care of for me?

3) How would it feel if I trusted that somehow this situation is happening for me, not to me.

Practicing saying yes is like having little trust falls with the Universe over and over again, but when you let yourself fall with trust, you’ll find that the Universe will catch you.

Then, what felt like falling on blind trust begins to feel like magic over and over again.

How to deal when people are irritating

Picture this…

It’s a cool autumn morning in the Oregon forestlands. The wandering dirt trail, towering evergreens, and lush ferns create a Pintrest-ready image of serenity.

Now insert the addition of a five-year-old whining, “I hate this!”

She’s so irritated and unhappy to be hiking and carrying her backpack that she slumps over, ready to collapse into the dirt with disgust. “Why do we have to be here? This is so boring!”

This was our family hike.

Much like a movie, there’s a scene, a plot, and characters.

On this day, my five-year-old, Olivia, was playing the role of COMPLAINER (at least in my head she was).

I was not digging the role she was playing.

It was irritating and, at times, I felt like I couldn’t deal with it!

ALL I wanted was for her to STOP playing that role. Stop complaining! Stop whining! Enjoy the beauty, dammit!

Simply put, I thought, “If you’d just change, I could be happy.”

Do you ever think that about someone in your life?

If you’d just BE HAPPY, then I could be happy.

If you’d STOP being an asshole, then I wouldn’t get so defensive.

If you’d STOP saying these things, I wouldn’t worry so much.

Demanding that someone else change for you to feel better is a battle you will lose every time.

IT’S NOT THEIR JOB TO CHANGE — IT’S YOURS.

You create your own reality and YOU are the DIRECTOR of your life.

Rather than trying to force your characters to change, try to appreciate the role they’re playing in your life right now like it’s rigged in your favor.

In my case, I appreciated Olivia’s UNWILLINGNESS to just do what others wanted her to do! I’m coaching my clients to re-learn this nowadays, so I thought, “own that, girl!”

I also appreciated how, as the “complainer,” Olivia was helping me practice finding peace regardless of circumstances.

Then, I appreciated her helping me change up my workout because I ended up carrying the 45-lb girl on my back for a mile and half.

Seeing her differently didn’t necessarily change HER or her behavior, but it changed ME.

And when I changed, my whole experience changed.

No matter who it is in your life, or what role they’re playing, don’t demand that they change so that you can deal.

See what happens if you even appreciate the role they’re playing right now.

When you do that, what happens for you?