Old-school, fear-based rules seem to be everywhere.
I often see them on my social feed and in my inbox from other coaches.
Here’s a recent message that I found entertaining:
Damn. I can’t dance and work at the same time? I guess I’m totally screwed.
Or this one:
“Do the hard work and then enjoy the rewards as you climb to the next level.”
I don’t know about you, but my old-school, hard-working, follow-the-rules mindset would have read that and thought, “Okay, I gotta buckle down, do the hard work, hustle my ass off, and then I’ll get the rewards. It will be totally worth it.”
You know why?
Because it’s FEAR-BASED.
The underlying message is: Work hard to avoid failure/poverty/shame. Afterward,...
When I was a little girl I remember thinking how miraculous it seemed that when I got a cut that my body would form a scab, like it’s own Bandaid, and get to work healing itself.
Today, I’m amazed watching my daughter’s body heal from her recent bike accident. She has stitches in her lip holding the wound together long enough for her body to do its job of healing itself.
Her body is healing so quickly that she looks different when she gets home from school than she did when I put her on the bus.
Trillions of cells all working together in harmony to keep the body alive and repair itself.
Until, it doesn’t feel like harmony and instead like headaches, indigestion, or illness.
The major culprit? STRESS.
Western and Eastern medicine agree that stress is one of the major causes of illness.
Don’t question the rules. Don’t break the rules.
Like little soldiers, following orders.
Wanting to do things “right” or, at least, avoid doing it “wrong.”
You must work hard to be successful.
Don’t question your boss or client, or you could get fired.
Don’t, at any cost, get fired.
You’ll be stressed if you care about being successful and doing a good job.
Work as many hours as possible to get the job done.
Once upon a time it was a made-up, social rule that women couldn’t wear pants, and people of different races couldn’t get married.
Oh, wait! Those made-up rules were actual fucking LAWS.
Mind if I ask you a money question?
Do you ever feel like JUST when you’re making some financial progress that a bill comes your way?
Or something breaks so it’s a new expense to get it fixed or replaced?
It’s like life says, “Hey, pay for this too!”
And you’re like, “Damn! When am I ever going to get ahead?”
Just curious, do you ever feel this way?
Many hold the money mindset of “never getting ahead” and often expect another bill to hit. Then, when it does, the bill seems like justification for the “never getting ahead” story they’ve been telling.
It becomes a useless cycle of worry, stress, telling the “never getting ahead” story, creating it, worrying more, telling the story more emphatically, and creating it even more.
Have you seen the new Tidying Up series on Netflix? Well, thanks to the new series, Marie Kondo’s method of exploring what SPARKS JOY has returned in a BIG WAY.
If you’re not familiar, Kondo guides her clients through tidying up their homes by holding every single possession and seeing if it sparks joy.
If it does, it stays. If it doesn’t, it gets tossed out.
In the end, everything in your home should SPARK the feeling of JOY.
This is with our physical possessions.
But, what about the rest of our lives?
Work? Relationships? Money? How do we deal with that?
Ugh. Joy killer.
This is also a MINDSET that leads to more shit to tolerate.
Which often leads to burnout, or grinding to a halt from overwhelm.
We can change this.
Your mind is your home.
And, it should be your...
I felt like I blew it.
There I was, in the middle of teaching a rather large online class, when I realized that my notes were USELESS.
I’d written too much! I couldn’t glance at them.
And then, I LOST MY PLACE!
Trying to figure it out, I repeated things. I rambled. And forgot important steps.
That’s when my inner Perfectionist started to freak out.
“OMG!” Perfectionist said, realizing the ship was going down, “The structure! The content! We need the notes!”
We were sinking.
Then, my inner Mean Girl appeared.
It’s like she was waiting this WHOLE TIME for an opportunity like this so that she could whisper in my ear, “You look like someone who doesn’t know what she’s doing. They’re gonna think you suck.”
My face felt hot.
I’ve been in this exact spot many times before.
In the past, the Perfectionist and Mean Girl duo led me to feel...
Is this you?
You want to live with purpose.
You have things you want to DO in this life, and you want to do them WELL.
Even if your DREAMS seem fuzzy, you know you have them, and you know you WANT to clarify and create them.
You want to grow, and contribute and feel PROUD.
But then, you’re juggling a lot to do and much of it isn’t fun.
You’re thinking a lot.
Then, doubt creeps in.
Your confidence in your ability to make your semi-fuzzy dreams a reality feels crushed.
It feels like a cat and mouse game of chasing after something that you’re not sure you can catch and wondering whether or not it’s even the right mouse.
If it is you, you’re not alone.
Many sharp as hell women aspire to turn their ideas into reality, but feel stuck.
Stuck from doubt.
Stuck from busyness.
Crushed by the lack of confidence.
Turns out, women are more likely to struggle with confidence than men.
“Simply put, a woman’s brain is not her friend when it...
“I know I want more clients, but it feels impossible. And then, I don’t even know how much harder I can work when I HAVE clients! I’ll have to do even more.”
Trish was at a standstill.
She knew what she wanted.
But, it wasn’t happening and she didn’t know what to do next.
What Trish didn’t realize is that she was actually putting the BRAKES on her desire.
Because right beside her longing was also a really scared voice.
This scared voice said things like:
“If I get paid by my clients, this work I love will become stressful and turn into a JOB.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“The only way to make it happen is to work harder.”
“If I put myself out there, people might hate me.”
“What if I get too busy and it feels like work.”
The brakes go on.
Clients don’t come.
The desire remains but feels impossible to attain.
Sound familiar? We can change this.
Money is not what most of us have been conditioned to think it is.
If we step back and think about it for a second, most of us probably spend money without even touching physical currency.
These thoughts create a MONEY MINDSET.
And then it appears to be your money reality.
Without your story… money is just money. It’s numbers. Paper. Metal.
You’ll attract different thoughts about money.
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